It's About Right Now / by Katie Alyce

I have always had a strong sense of memory. I remember everything that's ever felt new. New happiness, new pain, new fear, I remember them all. Having a vivid memory isn't always a benefit. It allows you to revisit the past. It allows you to feel things you wish to forget. It can play tricks on you. I told myself I wouldn't spend another year on regrets, and I have been holding myself to that. I have so much to be grateful for in the present, that it is so easy to want to let go of the past. I used to harbor emotions and memories, thinking that it would help remind me to never experience those feelings again. This was hindering me. I was blocking my own blessings. I cannot welcome forgiveness and love if I do not practice it. I now try my hardest to focus on what is important to me right now, in this very moment. I want to focus on where my life is headed, and not the obstacles of my past. I still get complacent, I get comfortable, I don't dedicate my time to my goals. I don't support those aspects, but I can admit that I am happier these days. The weight of life isn't so heavy on me anymore. I can laugh, I can look forward to things, I can control my own life. The unexpected always comes, but now it doesn't take over me like it used to. I'm always going to get anxious, that's just me. I'm wired that way. But the roadblocks are easier to surpass. I feel confident about the year of 2017 and what is in store for myself and those around me. I'm honestly inspired. I see creativity pouring out of everyone close to me, and it is exciting. I said in my last post this is the year of work, but this is also the year of win. I'm ready.